Yet…could someone, if they had deeply and truly believed themselves to be captivated by love, so easily let go of it? Even if they recognized the hopelessness of it, even if they hadn’t a shadow of doubt of the sincerity of their hatred; could one fall out of love through being logical?
– A_Little_Piece_of_Sincerity by provocative envy
no.
mitch
mish
chel
shil
che
misil
sil
misilita
mishil
pogs
pogi
pogads
pogs
those are the names i got called by classmates, friends, and family members. from the list, “che” has been my favorite because only 1 person calls me that. at first i was like “O_o”. later, i found it cute and i could never forget that person due to his creativity.
i didn’t think i could get any more unique of a name than “che”. i am sooo wrong.
this is how creative the japanese are. im just @_@… im out of words really. i’ll still meditate on how i should be feeling with this new addition to the list.
note: 姓 – Last name ; 名 – First name
it seems my blog is turning into a food blog, but what can i do? my muse turns up when im feeding 
)
—–
these past weeks, i have been struggling with keeping a healthy routine, feeling bad when i eat stuff that i know my body doesn’t need. and things your body don’t need will end building up in places you don’t want them to be.
so what is this innocent looking couple doing on my table? i dunno, they just did! magically they appeared and who doesn’t like magical things right? hahaha
actually, ive stopped punishing myself mentally for eating tasteful yet unnecessary delights. im not saying i am totally giving in to my sweet tooth itch. rather, im taking little steps in getting my healthy habits back.
in fact, i dont crave them as much as i did a few weeks ago. i just thought i miss them. and now that i’ve just had my fill, the magic is gone. they don’t taste so good anymore.
if i still punished myself for eating them, im sure i’d crave them more. it’s like its charm was on the idea that they’re forbidden. now, i couldn’t even finish my coffee. and im happy because that means im free! free from the grips of temptation.
for sure it’ll take a long while before i seek them out and have my fix.
exactly when she started coming to this place, she forgets.
it didn’t really matter ‘coz her constant date provided her the comfort she exactly needed. the comfort of silence, stillness, and solitude. she doesn’t talk, just sits there even after finishing up her favorite smoked salmon pasta and yam salad. she then sometimes gets her phone and toys with it, or attempts to read a book to try to distract herself from her own thoughts.
but more often than not, she just has this look in her eyes that says she’s down there again, diving into the pit of her mind. she only comes back when another customer snaps her from the trance she’s in. that’s when she smiles and finally acknowledges her date.
when will she ever stop thinking, her date wonders but doesn’t really mind. because even if she looks pathetic sitting quietly, she isn’t. when she’s here, and if anyone tries to look, really look into her eyes, anyone can see that she is contented with her date nights in italy, which is her escape. she just needs a secluded spot with her date – her cup of tea.
for more than 6 months, i haven’t posted anything and it is a shame!
well, i used to have something to say back when the company didn’t apply the post filters, i can write during work hours when my muse visits me. since that happened, no more long entries, even in my actual journal.
and then there’s the micro-blogging thing.. where you can post quickies. i feel like i will violate this place if i do post stupid stuff. and then, there’s also this idea of moving to tumblr so that i won’t feel “violating” this place. because with tumblr, its super informal it will be awkward for professional/informative bloggers out there. in tumblr, everyone can be creative, and can exercise freedom of expression..
enough of the excuses already!
yeah, i’ve gone lazy.
undisciplined.
sucks.
i hope my muse is still around patiently waiting for me to spend some time with her.
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
- Isaiah 41:13
Dear restless heart, be still; don’t fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.
Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God’s own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.
Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and sorrow so,
He hath a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.
Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.
Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;
God’s life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.
–Edith Willis Linn
i may not have written this, but my heart could use this poem right now.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
- 1 John 3:18
